Lots Of Knots, Lots Of Snags, Lots Of Holes, Lots Of Cracks, Lots Of Crags, Lots Of Naggin' Old Hags

Being the lazy, antisocial, no-life loser person who has nothing to make out of her miserable existance, most of my days are spent sitting on the sofa, pigging out and watching TV. The other day I was watching an episode of Oprah, where she was talking about the double-standard of when a man has sexual intercourse with a 13 year old, he is named a pedophile, a rapist, a sex offender, a child molester, and that the judicial system would be working its ass to ensure that the perpetrator would be put behind bars. Yet on the other hand, a woman who has sexual intercourse with a child would be convicted of aggravated sexual assault, and would be put on probation, which is a terribly inadequate sentence.
Anyway, I don't know how I feel towards this issue. Let me explain. When I was around 12 or something, I used to live with my grandmother. My cousins and aunts and uncles would be around the house all the time of course. Sometimes my cousins would come straight from school to my grandma's house and spend the rest of the day there. Sometimes they would be tired and go upstairs and take naps in any room they found vacant. I didn't exactly have a crush on any of my cousins. They were all much younger than me. But seeing them there on my bed or whatever gave me these crazy sexual urges. It was all I could do to keep my hands off of these boys. They were around 7 or 8 years old. And at that age there's a huge difference between 12 and 7 or 8 year olds. You know what I mean? I was constantly fantasizing about the things I wanted to do to them. I enjoyed role-playing with them, and being the big cousin, they "allowed" me to roughhouse them. For example, if we were pretending I was the school teacher and they were my students, I never missed an opportunity to punish them if they did something I didn't like. I would slap their bottom, and just dominating them like that gave me a great sense of satisfaction. I would always tell them that they should take their clothes off, that it would be more comfortable that way, before they took their naps. Luckily they never did. I was still a 'girl' and they were too embarrassed to undress in-front of me.
Okay, I don't even know why the hell I'm sharing all of this nonsense gibberish with you guys. I guess I'm just one hell of a sick, sick, sick puppy aren't I?

A Lovers Promise Never Came With A Maybe

My beloved Ganoo9 owns a Taxi company. Today, one of his imbecile drivers smashed a brand spanking new Toyota Corolla into a Jeep that was standing at a red traffic light. We went to the auto graveyard in front of Salmiya police station to take a look at the wreckage. Here are some pictures of the Taxi, along with pictures of a car that was obliterated beyond recognition that I just HAD to snap.


















Okay so that's cleared up. Now to the important stuff. Ganoo9, I'm so in love with you. You are the purest, most genuine soul I have ever, and will ever know. The sheer intensity of your kindness, which more often than not is taken advantage of in the cruelest ways, your unbelievable tolerance to all the shit that goes on around you, the way you handle difficult, taxing situations with such gentlemanly-ness and grace never ceases to amaze me. You are the epitome of the proverbial 'smooth operator'! I'm grateful to have you in my life. My rock. My solid turf to stand on. My best friend who always keeps me grounded, the one I know I can always depend on no matter what, who gives me strength and stands right by my side, holding my hand and giving me reassurance, boosting my confidence, through thick and thin, the good times and the bad, and manages to make me laugh and lift my spirits even when I'm in the depths of misery. Never giving up on me no matter how much of a hard time I give him. Ganoo9, I thank you for everything you have ever done for me. I thank you for your never ending doses of tough-love at the times when I'm being nothing but an utter and complete idiotic bitch. I hope you always know what you mean to me. I love you so much.

Get Off My Back

Mom: What are you doing?
Dodo: Not much; watching TV.
Mom: What's on?
Dodo: Oprah. She's throwing a fairytale wedding for some poor couple.
Mom: Oh.

**Uncomfortable Silence**

Mom: You got an invitation to that wedding on Thursday.
Dodo: I know mom. You've told me a hundred times already.
Mom: What are you going to wear?
Dodo: Mom I told you I'm not going. I have a lot on my plate without having to worry what I'm going to wear to a wedding.
Mom: Suit yourself.
Dodo: I have final exams mom! Besides, I dont even know the people!
Mom: You'll end up a spinster.



Pfffffffffffffffft





UPDATE: Look at these!! There's a pair of tiny crackers in each one of those!! Hahhahhahhahahhahah

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Does anyone remember how great Levi's commercials used to be? Classic! They were completely out of this world! My favorites were Mr. Boombastic, Invisibility and Blind Man. Check them out :)

Chronic Boredom

Received those in a forwarded email

Word Up!

It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you can't stay
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin'
It ain't workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
This is crazy

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me
There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me
Cry for me, cry for me
You said you'd die for me
Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me

Lauryn Hill - Ex-Factor Lyrics

Boy: Are we still on for Wednesday?
Girl: Of course we are!
Boy: Are you still serious about what you told me the other day?
Girl: What thing exactly? We talked about a lot of things.
Boy: You know what I'm talking about.

We're about to go down
And you know just what to do

Girl: Oh, about me wanting vaginal sex? Of course I still want it!
Boy: You're still crazy. When you get over your horniness let me know so we can talk like mature adults. Your state's making you irrational.
Girl: Excuse me? What's wrong with me wanting vaginal sex?
Boy: Everything is wrong with it! I don't want to be responsible!

Wave your hands in the air like you don't care
Glide by the people as they start to look and stare

Girl: Responsible for what exactly?
Boy: For ruining your future!
Girl: What? How is vaginal sex going to ruin my future?!
Boy: Stop acting stupid! I want to be able to put my head on the pillow at night and not feel guilty.

Do your dance, do your dance, do your dance quick mama
Come on baby tell me what's the word

Girl: Guilty about what?! We've had anal sex, how is this going to be any different?
Boy: Well it is different! Its going to stay on my conscience.
Girl: So losing my vaginal virginity to you is going to make you feel guilty, but the fact that you were my first anal fuck doesn't make you feel bad?! Boy, how hypocritical can you get!

Word up (up up) everybody say
When you hear the call you've got to get it under way

Boy: You're not getting me. There IS a difference between anal and vaginal!
Girl: How is there a difference? The only difference is a little bit of skin, and its not like I'm going to go and let someone examine me! Besides, guys never know.
Boy: Never know what?

Word up (up up) it's the code word
No matter where you say it you know that you'll be heard

Girl: Never know if a girl is a virgin or not, unless she blabs or gets a medical check!
Boy: I don't care. I don't want it on my conscience.
Girl: Fine. Get me a dildo and I'll do it myself.
Boy: Me get you a dildo? Get it yourself.

You try to put on those airs and act real cool
But you got to realize that you're acting like fools

Girl: Where do you expect me to find one around here? Would you mind if i used a champagne bottle or something?
Boy: I don't care. "Open" yourself in front of me on Wednesday with a dildo or whatever, and then we can have vaginal sex. I don't want to be the reason why you lost your virginity.

If there's music we can use it
Be free to dance

Girl: You're acting like a jerk. You'd still be my first vaginal fuck even if I used a dildo or something. You're the first guy I'd be with.
Boy: No. You'd have done it yourself. That's my point here.
Girl: I know what your problem is. You're afraid that if I lost my virginity to you, I'd be hooked on you forever!

We don't have the time for psychological romance
No romance, no romance, no romance for me mama

Boy: What's making you say that? It's because you think of me that way.
Girl: I remember you telling me about how when people fuck, there's like this 'commitment' hormone (vasopressin) or something that makes the woman go all mental for the guy she's fucking with. Boy, get over yourself! I'm not going to get fucking hooked on you. Who do you think you are?! I'm the one asking for it here anyway! How are you going to be the guilty one?

Come on baby tell me what's the word
Word up (up up) everybody say

Boy: You think I don't want to have sex with you? You know I do. But I don't want it to be a chip on my shoulder!
Girl: It's all sex! Vaginal, anal, oral! It's all sex! And I want vaginal sex!
Boy: Why can't you understand me?!
Girl: Oh I understand you perfectly well. And I'm calling Wednesday off.
Boy: Fine. Good night.
Girl: Bye!

When you hear the call you've got to get it under way
Word up (up up) it's the code word
No matter where you say it you know that you'll be heard

For All You Girlie Girls

Take this quiz n find out how girly you are! Put x’s besides each thing that applies to you and is true. Each x is one percent. Add them up to get your percentage :D


[ ] My fingernails/toenails are almost always painted
[x] During the summer pretty much the only shoes i wear are flip flops
[ ] My favorite toys as a child were barbies
[ ] My favorite color is pink or purple
[x] I did Gymnastics
[ ] I love skirts
[ ] Hollister is my favorite place to shop
[ ] Tight jeans are the only jeans i'll wear
[x] I love chocolate
[x] I've never had a real job
TOTAL: 4

[ ] My hair is straightened
[x] I have at least 8 myspace pictures
[ ] I usually go shopping once a week
[ ] I love to hang out at the mall with friends
[ ] I have a real diamond ring or diamond necklace or earrings
[ ] I've gone to a tanning salon
[ ] I've gone to the beach to tan - not to swim
[x] I have at least 10 pairs of shoes
[ ] I watch either the OC or Laguna Beach
[ ] I change my icon weekly
[ ] I wear a shower cap
TOTAL: 2

[ ] Would NEVER set foot into Hot Topic
[ ] My cell phone might as well become a part of me
[x] I wear mascara every day
[x] I've been or am on a diet
[ ] bathing suits are adorable
[ ] I dont know the difference between a sheep and a goat.
[x] Big sunglasses are hott
[ x ] I have gotten my nails done
[x] I own over 10 purses>
[x] MTV is my one of my favorite channels
TOTAL: 6

[ ] All I want to do at sleepovers is talk about boys
[ ] I love to have other girls do my hair
[x] I give and receive hugs from all my friends
[ ] I hate bugs, spiders
[ ] Carnivals are so fun!!
[ ] summer is THE best season
[ ] My swimsuit has 2 pieces
[x] I'm waiting for my knight in shining armor
[x] Musicians are so hot
[x] You write me a poem and tell me I'm beautiful and I'm all yours
TOTAL: 4


[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I cry often
[ ] My car smells like vanilla
[x] My dishes get washed more than once a week
[x] I dont do sports
[ ] I hate to run
[x] I squeal when I am surprised or angry
[ ] I eat dried fruit as a snack
[x] I love romance novels
[x] Drew Barrymore is so cute
TOTAL:6


[x] I dance a lot
[ ] usually spend over an hour to get ready to leave my house
[ ] I only have like 5 billion hair products
[ ] I love to get dressed up.
[ ] Every part of my outfit needs to match
[x] I talk on the phone at least once a day to a few of my friends
[ ] I would love to have a photo shoot of myself
[x] Price on clothes hardly matters
[ ] I apply lip stuff 50 times a day
[ ] I wish i were a model (professional)
TOTAL: 3

[ ] I wish I could meet Paris Hilton
[ ] I have been something that was semi slutty on halloween
[ ] I own Ugg Austrailia's
[ ] Hip Hop is the best music
[ ] I pop my collar
[ ] I like to be the center of attention
[ ] Guys with Mohawks are crazy(meaning insane crazy, freaky)
[x]Horses are beautiful!!!!
[x] I'd rather not pay attention in school
[x] Cats are adorable
TOTAL: 3

[ ] I write my own lyrics
[ ] I would love to visit Hawaii
[ ] Valentine's day is so cute!
[ ] White is better than black
[ ] I wouldn't be caught dead in all black
[x] My closet is STOCK FULL of clothes
[ ] I hate the grunge look of a beard
[x] I love to read gossip magazines
TOTAL: 2


[x] I love to gossip talk
[ ] I had Lisa Frank folders, posters as a kid
[ ] I love Celine dion
[ ] My bubble baths are 2 hr long
[ ] My wedding only needs a groom because it's already planned
[ ] My friends and I are in a strict group. we mostly only hang out with each other
[x] I like kids
[ ] Diet drinks are the best
[ ] I'm all about being vegetarian
[ ] I refuse to eat at McDonalds
TOTAL: 2

[x] I check my myspace everyday.
[x] I LOVE life!
[x] I have a lot of jewlery!
[x] Claires has cheap jewlery
[ ] My screen names have x's in them
[ ] Either one of my myspace names has/had <3/?'s in them
[ ] I would never want to be the opposite sex
[x] It's not what he/she said it's the way he/she said it
[ ] I have more than 3 pillows on my bed
TOTAL: 5

GRAND TOTAL: 37!!
Bummer, I suck